Marriage and Couple's Counseling

Re•new [ri-noo, -nyoo] – verb

  1. to begin or take up again.

  2. to make effective for an additional period.

  3. to restore or replenish.

  4. to revive; reestablish (youth, strength, etc.).

  5. to make new or as if new again.

These are our goals for MarriageRenew® – the hope and reality of beginning again, restored, revived, replenished, youthful, strong and long-lasting – “as if new again.” MarriageRenew® is not just another counseling, coaching, or therapy model for relationships. Currently there are a number of effective and successful models available – each based on solid clinical research. However, in our years of working with couples we have not found any one model that meets all the unique needs of couples or individuals.

As a result, our focus with MarriageRenew® is to accurately and effectively assess a couples’ needs – based on their desired goals and dreams, both as a couple and as individuals – and then to apply the most effective resources aimed at achieving those goals and dreams, in as short a time as possible. By not being locked into any one model, either our own or someone else’s, we have the flexibility to choose not only from a wide range of historically sound approaches, but also the latest and most effective research-based methods available.

Our approach includes careful assessment from a solution-focused family systems perspective, direct feedback with practical suggestions, coaching in application of tools and resources, and exercises and/or brief readings between sessions. Ours is not a passive or even neutral approach. We advocate for your marriage and we work diligently to hold the hope of renewal and restoration of your marriage relationship.

Our marriage and couples counseling:

  • provides direct feedback relevant to the couple’s situation.

  • instructs partners how to avoid polarized, win-lose conversations.

  • acknowledges that one person is rarely the problem: it is a dance we do together.

  • teaches couples how to minimize defensiveness when in conflict.

  • establishes a safe space for couples to test out new ways of communicating.

  • encourages the couple to rediscover strengths obscured by a problem-focus.

  • often allows for almost immediately reduced stress and couple anxiety.

  • explores legitimate individual needs and wants instead of blaming the other person.

  • understands that reason and emotion both need to be heard and expressed.

  • recognizes that affairs can happen and that couples can overcome them.

Here is what you can expect from our marriage counseling:

  • sessions identify issues, teach and provide assignments.

  • specific instructions are provided on how to listen and problem-solve.

  • interactive, professional feedback that is relevant and informed.

  • principles are introduced that provide guidance and new direction.

  • there is a process for helping couples through infidelity and unfaithfulness.

  • stories, metaphors, paradoxical statements are used to reframe and increase awareness.

  • humor is interwoven respectfully to soften the intense seriousness couples often feel.

  • a positive outlook, encouragement, and a sense of hope point toward lasting change.

  • at your request, a faith-based Christian perspective is integrated in our work.

A common misconception is that BOTH partners need to be in couple counseling or marital therapy for change to occur. Since we approach relationship issues from a “systems” perspective, we know that one motivated individual can have a positive impact on a relationship, even if their partner is not ready or willing to engage in the counseling process at this time. Marriage counseling can be about individuals and/or couples.

We believe in the hope of restoration – emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. Our goal is to provide couples with the tools necessary to address beliefs and patterns of behavior, which prevent them from reaching and maintaining their goals and dreams. This is accomplished through a respectful, collaborative, solution-focused approach which is MarriageRenew®.