Probably the most common complaint among couples seeking marriage counseling is that of difficult, argumentative, high-conflict, failed, and/or non-existent communication. Most partners feel that, “If I could just get them to listen to me, to understand me…” things would be better. While healthy communication is important to all relationships, generally, the problem is not our ability to communicate, but our desire and the degree with which we feel safe to do so. In their book, Safe Haven Marriage, Dr.’s Archibald Hart and Sharon Hart Morris, state that,